Feedback Request
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSX74P7qDuPh_-HOuM1xxrOZvIJNINbOyb14nE9Nbp-EMU0TA5lu1RRllOjg9jDK4CPXuS78U8NMJpl/pub
After two years of iterative design on my SciFantasy Heartbreaker TTRPG, built within a bespoke setting, the skills chapter has reached a robust 54 pages and is approaching an alpha version. My core design philosophy centers on deep player agency through a highly granular, component-based skill system. This empowers players with finite control over character abilities and design, fostering emergent gameplay and meaningful specialization, effectively shifting emphasis from rigid classes towards a truly player-driven character paradigm.
I'm now looking for your sharpest critiques and most insightful suggestions on this chapter. Does the level of granularity seem to offer meaningful choices, or is it overwhelming? Are there any obvious gaps in the skill list, or places where things feel redundant? Lay it on me – constructive criticism, brilliant ideas, even just your initial gut reactions are incredibly valuable. Take a look, tell me what you think, and help me make this skill system truly shine for players!". Really anything you want to throw at me is valuable and I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Just don't insult my wife. She didn't do anything to you.
This is a spare-time passion project of one guy with no budget. I am not a business, I am not a publisher but I AM familiar with the pro design & media industry and have worked in the private sector in non-gaming contexts, I'm barely a professional game designer (I wrote a few things that now sit languishing in production hell--you know the story). This is probably to be expected around these parts, but I figured I'd say it.
This project started as a D&D setting, and after a certain historical event occurring on Friday the 13th, 2023, the thirteenthiest Friday the thirteenth that ever Friday the thirteenthed, I started on a fantasy heartbreaker tailored to Syseria. I retconned a planet shattering (previously it was the continents getting reshuffled) and reworked a few (though not many) aspects of the lore. The Shattered World, I now realize, subconsciously presented itself as a metaphor for the game setting and design of the TTRPG. The iterative process of decades has left many design artifacts from previous editions that are still being removed and reworked. This work will continue all year, and probably beyond.
If you're looking for broader context, here are some of the other sections of the work. It's a challenge because even asking a community to look at a 54 page document is a big ask (and I'm certainly not expecting anyone to literally read it start to finish, in its entirety), and this whole thing is bordering on 600 pages. (According to google docs). I do not expect ANYONE to actually read all this. This makes the lack of context a real pickle for posts asking for feedback. I don't generally dump the whole thing because there's a lot, but I'll try to give the best TLDR I can.
Core Engine (12 pages)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSEbqwarKfDC0zwkTorbeoYMeoV0_amqlIQjE0L2xJC3ySUEqSEr_lLI-9Gk0eXBwOyDPcFHfHU-Yw7/pub
TLDR: The granular Skills system will interact with this escalating roll-over mechanic, and success will determine the effectiveness of the skill use based on the degree of success. The "Buy-In" system shows the first part of how players will invest XP (used as currency) to improve their class and character features (potentially higher rolls for skill-related actions or specific skill "bumps"). You earn points for doing stuff and spend 'em to git gud.
Lore (75 pages)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRwGkllFpuusPi3QUNsbOo6PDK5qu8MC9APJP--7yEI2bTwhbVEvoC37RUTqJ3NHRy12NIEzjnBITxA/pub
TLDR: I'm hesitant about providing a TLDR on this one, but here goes nothing.
The entity known as Xi, self-proclaimed architect of existence, grew weary of divine squabbles spilling onto crafted worlds. Thus, Syseria was conceived: a final, ambitious endeavor intended as a sanctuary, yet marred by the intrusion of 'Bloodstone' – raw threads of cosmic forces, each bound to fundamental aspects of existence – Time, Chaos, Magic, the Sun's fierce nova, the all-consuming Void, the ephemeral nature of Thought, the unsettling Weird, the essence of Soul, and the driving force of Volution. These 'Bloodstone Aspects' are not merely domains; they are the very fabric to which these powers are tethered, their influence radiating through the cosmos in tangible ways.. These potent fragments, discovered by the ill-fated King of Evil and manipulated by the Deceiver, Kynteelas, have rendered Syseria a locus of unpredictable energies and lingering chaos from a prior 'Dark Times' ignited by fractured interdimensional portals. Xi, in a moment of divine candor, admits to a singular failure: the intended perfection of Syseria remains unrealized, forever tainted by the allure and peril of Bloodstone.
Before the reckoning of mortal time, the divine entity Xi wearied of its progeny's cosmic bickering and conceived Syseria as a potential balm. This nascent world, imbued with foundational energies, was set apart by divine decree, shielded from direct godly intervention. Yet, prior to its formal genesis, a spacefaring race known as the Devas arose – entities of immense psionic power who embarked on a 'Great Journey,' seeding the cosmos with their creations: the steadfast dwarves, the long-lived elves, and the more volatile humans, among others. Their endeavors, fueled by a hubris that bordered on the divine, ultimately drew the ire of the true gods, setting the stage for a cosmic drama that would irrevocably shape the destiny of the yet-to-be-discovered Syseria.
The shattered fragments of Syseria, a world rent asunder by celestial conflict, nonetheless present a paradox of accessibility, facilitated by arcane portals and the resurrected technologies of a lost age. Across its jagged continents – the war-torn kingdoms of Cirisca, the undead-haunted Blackened Wood, the subterranean dominion of the Dwarven Empire – disparate societies carve out their existences. Remnants of the advanced Devas linger as enigmatic ruins in Magia Nolan, while the sprawling archipelagoes, from the tropical Isla Notau Nai to the volcanic Dragon's Maw, teem with a chaotic biodiversity. The arid expanse of Temek harbors both splendor and savagery, contrasting with the tradition-steeped deserts of Al Quraya Kahn and the (currently redacted) mysteries of Shin-Xiao. Dvoria stands as a militaristic dictatorship amidst ancient ruins, while Karamunduria remains an apocalyptic wasteland plagued by banditry. The frozen north, Sorvestedsstäd, a land of giants and cyclical volcanic fury, stands apart. Connecting these disparate realms are the Portal Cities – metropoli acting as nodes in an instantaneous transit network, each with its own distinct character and economy. In essence, Syseria is a fractured yet interconnected world, its diverse landscapes and inhabitants bearing the scars of a cataclysmic past while simultaneously striving to rebuild and rediscover the secrets of ages long gone.
Syseria is a mashup world reaching across multiple genres. I am doing my best to embrace and emphasize the mashup nature of the world.
Character Inception (37 pages)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSZtMVGlRn1Z7sTyG4K1Dt6KN-uwyK_eCe1kasl4cF4tKttgI5PgzcImXnG4-dvYnivLgdFxQt-QlTq/pub
TLDR: The genesis of a persona within Shattered World involves a measured allocation of fundamental aptitudes – physical, mental, spiritual – across a spectrum of available hominid (and other) species. One then designates a primary vocational inclination, a 'Field Role,' which serves as a template and initial vector for the acquisition of competence. This design process is in essence the instantiation of a nascent protagonist poised to navigate a fractured reality. It's all about building the character you want to play from the ground up.
Main Species (31 pages)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTchLzBMFT3OK5qeUA1OMrOfQnn4M4yYaZmKlEcnV9n5epJDX1EIF89dB7ZJa2PesLWv08z-Y_0Ttvy/pub
Within the fragmented cosmography of Shattered World, the sentient substrates available for inhabitation extend beyond the predictable taxonomies. One confronts a panoply of Volk – dwarves, forged in subterranean strata with a tenacity echoing the very bedrock; elves, whose attenuated lifespans and inherent affinities whisper of ages long past, a lineage tracing back to epochs predating the Sundering. Humankind, ever adaptable and prone to both profound ingenuity and regrettable folly, remains a ubiquitous, if somewhat stochastic, element. And then there are the differently-wrought – goblins, orcs, and others whose origins lie shrouded in the mists of the Dark Times, each bearing the indelible mark of that cataclysm. The selection of one's Kindred is not merely a cosmetic choice; it dictates inherent predispositions, cultural inclinations, and a foundational narrative thread woven into the very fabric of this fractured reality. Choose wisely, for such choices bear consequences that ripple through the unfolding saga.
Uncommon Species (94 pages)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRaTryX1r-OepLjx093OB6NTfPoY7WH0IGOk-f4WvyvS0LeSFzOq5rynS0swfVmaEirREQ3iaMZGRth/pub
Beyond the more frequently encountered Ethnoi of Shattered World lie lineages touched by the strange currents of its fractured existence. Consider the Autons, beings of enigmatic manufacture, their very sentience a question whispered in the shadowed corners of technological arcana – a stark reminder of a lost, perhaps hubristic, age. Then there are the Quicklings, whose rapid temporal perception renders them almost ephemeral to the slower senses, their existence a fleeting dance on the edges of conventional spacetime, bearing echoes of realms beyond mortal kin. And one must not forget the Crossbreeds and Hybrids, beings born of unorthodox unions, their very forms testaments to the breaking of natural order, often bearing both the boons and the burdens of their mingled heritages – a living embodiment of the world's inherent instability. To choose such a path is to embrace the exceptional, to court the gaze of the curious and the wary alike, and to embark upon a narrative trajectory decidedly less traveled, fraught with both unique peril and singular potential.
Field Roles (108 pages)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQTnJ3-h7JzaByHj4tgOeVVxyQWVl0U9f3dd5BKYCyPo0kvWkr90DMtMMbUsyuJmg1dIysmvN_Mn4Uv/pub
The societal architecture of Shattered World necessitates a division of labor, codified into 'Field Roles' – archetypal vocations that delineate a character's primary sphere of competence. To select a Field Role – be it the martial adept (' Warrior or Elite Warrior'), the psychic manipulator ('Psion, Wizard, Mage'), the shadow-draped operative ('Rogue'), or the artificer of technological marvels ('Engineer') – is to define one's initial skillset and trajectory of expertise. These roles are not mere class labels; they represent fundamental orientations towards interacting with the world and its myriad challenges, providing a structured framework for the development of specialized proficiencies and the acquisition of consequential abilities. Choose your path, for it shall shape the contours of your efficacy within this fractured reality. The character system in Shattered World tackles two main design challenges: reimagining the traditional character class, and empowering players with significant agency in crafting their heroes. This is [hopefully] achieved by reimagining deconstructing common RPG classes, species, and other elements into their fundamental components. This component-based approach, alongside a reimagined class structure, empowers players to realize their unique visions in a unique, reimagined design space.
(I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you all that this is the TLDR.)
The Syserian Pantheon (111 pages)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRQYXsmVB6FGlZkddYphBh8xjVBRJFop363j2RmTRa3XO8r-WDg_NRy2TYkqRs3qR9kDuvlKi8VD4CW/pub
TLDR: Within the fractured reality of Syseria, divinity is not a monolithic certainty but a fractured landscape of potent entities. Some are ancient architects of creation, others perhaps emergent phenomena of the universe's turbulent history. Their interactions are not always benevolent, their agendas often inscrutable to mortal minds, and their power, while immense, is not without limitations, particularly within the peculiar confines of Syseria. Mortals, in turn, often find themselves unwittingly bound to these aspects, their destinies subtly (or not so subtly) shaped by the divine currents that flow through the Land of Bloodstone. Beware those who claim to speak for these powers, for the truth of their intentions may be as shifting as the sands of Temek or as absolute as a decree from a God.
Equipment (29 pages)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vShWXJmtLOBAd0VmtNWvpXRCRIS34OmgvjzZmftYsvzkpxKCSbcDw0EtXMUS-Dlv6uXB4Wx47ltAFhi/pub
TLDR: Gear Up in Shattered World! Adventurers in Syseria rely on four main coins: the common Solaureus, the less frequent Cyan's Tear (platinum), the rare platinum trade bar, and the base Wishcaster. Starting funds vary by your background. A Solaureus buys basic necessities. Wealth is often tracked in Solaurei, with larger transactions using platinum or trade goods. Equipment includes weapons (categorized by size and damage type), armor (with varying protection and hit points), tools, and unique SciFantasy tech like Engine-powered devices (Jetpacks, Freeze Rays, Reimagined Armor or power suits, etc.). Magic items include Runes for enhancements and Kyanite/Isis crystals for remote communication. Be mindful of encumbrance and the distinction between common and old-world currency.
Adventuring, Time, Movement, and Combat (23 pages)
Adventuring, Time, Movement, Combat
TLDR: Movement speed is defined. Exploration uses abstract scales by design, with the intention of scalability. Time is tracked in days, hours, and abstract combat rounds. Vision is impacted by light levels; darkvision exists. Modern assumptions about RPG units work perfectly (e.g. "Unit" = 5 feet in universe, "Round" = 6 seconds in universe, etc.) Encumbrance is slot-based. Fatigue is a stacking condition with escalating penalties. These rules govern movement, timekeeping, vision, carrying capacity, and exhaustion.
Magic (30 pages)
TLDR: Magic in Shattered World
Magic
"Magic comes from Bloodstones, once deadly, now (relatively) safe with a future expiration date. Spells are recipes using Bloodstone aspects, targeting stats or bodies. Everything's reversible. 'Elasticity' lets you tweak range, duration, shape, and tension on the fly. Wizards write recipes, others learn them differently. Grab a Magic Bloodstone and get casting!"
Document Info/TOC/Appendices/Glossary/History (20 pages)
Docinfo
(No TLDR provided)
